Caregiving During the Holidays: It’s Hard, but You’ll Be Okay

Minutes after our daughter was diagnosed with cancer, we had to walk through the hospital to the children’s ER. My husband carried our four year old and a nurse took my hand. I remember her telling me that I was going to be okay. At the time I thought she had no right to say that. She couldn’t know the future. I didn’t want her trite platitudes, I wanted her to tell me this was all a bad dream.

Years later I long to find that nurse and tell her that she was right after all. I wonder about her and if she said those words to me because she had lived their truth. Perhaps she too had walked through the valley of the shadow of death and knew her Savior had carried her through. Maybe she knew the deep truth that only becomes ingrained through suffering… that when you belong to Christ, no matter what comes, you will be okay.

If you are a caregiver facing the holidays ahead and already feeling overwhelmed, I want to be that woman for you today – taking your hand and declaring that you really will be okay.

I don’t mean that there won’t be tears, sadness, and setbacks. Often people die right around the holidays and caregivers can feel both on edge and taken by surprise as they tip-toe through the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years. There can be a deep, and real heaviness that settles over the holidays as you look around and things aren’t the way they ought to be.

Even with all that real pain, I can confidently declare that you will be okay. That’s because this suffering (in some mysterious way) is actually a gift that has been entrusted to you. As you steward this gift you are going to come face to face with the gift giver, and you will see all the ways he is caring for you.

One way the Lord will care for you is by using your suffering to perfect you. Huh? How can that be?

Hebrews 2:10 tells us that Jesus was perfected through his suffering, and 1 Peter 4:12 tells us to not be surprised when the same suffering comes to us, because the same work of perfection is at play in our lives.

This idea of being perfected doesn’t mean morally perfected (Being God, Jesus was already morally perfect, and we won’t be rid of our sin until heaven), but rather has to do with perfecting or accomplishing the mission set before him (and us). The mission of Christ being to reconcile us to God. The mission of ours being to glorify God and become more like Jesus.

As you walk through the holidays and bear witness to deep suffering in our world, remember that God is at work. He is using your trials to conform you into the image of his beloved Son. He is softening your sharp edges, deepening your dependence on Him, narrowing your focus onto what truly matters, and filling you with a longing for eternity with Him. Are you catching a glimpse of why suffering can be called a gift?

Dear caregiver, the holidays are going to be challenging, and I don’t have a shortcut to give you, but know this: God is with you, Jesus loves you, and the Holy Spirit is empowering you to live out your treasured calling as a caregiver.

In all your caregiving, Jesus is caring for you.