Dear Momma…

To the Mom who is about to hear a hard diagnosis about her child,

I don’t know what words you are going to hear. Cancer? Genetic disorder? Heart condition? But what I do know is that you probably aren’t expecting it. You will probably feel a sense of shock.

It might be the kind of shock that makes everything else go silent. The kind where things happen in slow motion and the memories of where you are in this exact moment get seared into your brain forever.

It might be the kind of shock that is tempered with thoughts of “I knew something was wrong… I just didn’t know what.” There could be a mixture of relief (that your fears weren’t made up), and also of sadness or anger for the same reason.

You will probably feel overwhelmed by all the terms your doctor uses next. The plan of action that seems so fast or maybe the lack of a plan at all (why isn’t there a plan for this?!).

Soon your brain will start to do funny things. Like making a grocery list – even though you’ve just been told your child will be in the hospital for an unknown amount of time.

You might notice that your nails are in desperate need of a manicure and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever do something normal like get a manicure again.

As you walk out of the doctor’s office, or hang up the phone you’ll have this odd sense that your new reality is physically visible to everyone around you. As you check out at the store, you’ll wonder if the cashier can see the diagnosis written on your forehead. As you drive down the road you’ll think “this is so weird… everyone else is going about their normal day… but the day isn’t normal anymore… don’t they know the day isn’t normal anymore?!”

You’ll cry at inconvenient times. My advice is to just stop wearing mascara for awhile. And always keep some soft tissues in your purse. And showers will be your new best friend. Just let the tears flow in there. You can wash your hair tomorrow.

Days and weeks will pass. Your child will have appointments, perhaps procedures or surgeries, you might spend way too much time at the pharmacy getting prescriptions filled. Or you might find yourself stuck in a vortex of online research regarding the condition.

Eventually the shock will wear off, and you’ll settle into your new normal. You will find that you have a choice to make. You can get angry at God and shut him out, or you can press into Him.

You can’t actually run away from God. His heart is to pursue – especially those who run. But you can try. And consequently, you’ll miss out on some sweet things he’d like to give to you.

Or you can turn to the Lord with a humble, broken heart. You can express your needs and your wants. You can be open to seeing God at work in your child’s circumstances. You can trust that God wants to bless your child and you through whatever hard thing you’ve been given.

Dear momma. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to hear hard news about their child. But I do wish that everyone had a front row view of God at work. I wish everyone could experience the joy and peace that comes from being wrapped up under God’s wing amid dark days and long nights.

You, precious momma, have been given a VIP ticket to that front row. You have been given an opportunity to see miracles and understand the Lord’s deep love for you and your child in a way that you wouldn’t have before.

Press into Jesus. Press in to the one who saves, redeems, protects, defends, comforts, and loves.

I don’t know the details of what your child is going to face. But I do know that they will never be out of God’s sight. And you momma, are going to be ok.

Love, marissa