Prayer is More

Alice had another good week – physically. We expected nausea, mouth sores, constipation and some other side effects from last week’s chemo and she didn’t have any of it. It’s amazing! 

But emotionally we are spent. On top of the medications she has to take at home to help with all the different side effects and weakened immune system, her asthma cough returned and now she has to use her inhaler twice a day. And throwing that one new thing in to the mix threw her off her routine, and now she is fighting me on all the meds that she had been taking pretty easily. 

The stress of keeping her healthy for the wedding this weekend, getting the final details done on our house (we are officially moving back next Friday), just managing every day tasks with a sick child who I can’t take to all public places… and then getting word last week about some scans they are going to do in a few weeks to make sure no new tumors have grown… 

Y’all I’m weary. The thought that they might find new tumors… the thought that her treatment might not be working… that feels so overwhelming and scary. 

So I sacrificed sleep this morning and spent time pouring over God’s word. Reading everything I could about his kindness and his love. I need those truths to fight off the fear that feels so consuming right now. The fear that has me in tears throughout the day. 

Will you pray for us? Specifically against fear? And against guilt… that I’m neglecting the other girls, that it will be my fault if Alice gets sick, that I didn’t protect her well enough, that I can’t do it all right now. And of course for her treatment tomorrow (8am TX time)… that her counts have gone up and all goes smoothly. And for the wedding… for her to be protected from some family members we’ve heard are really sick right now. 

So many of you have said things like “I’m praying for you, but I want to do something more.” 

Can I encourage you – that praying is the “something more”? 

So much of what we need is help on the emotional, spiritual level right now. We need peace. We need joy. We need comfort. We need rest that goes deep into our hearts and bones. We need reminders of God’s promises. We need others to use words when all we have are tears and groans. 

Please don’t grow weary of praying. Please don’t feel like it’s not enough or that it isn’t being noticed by us. It is. 

We love y’all. 
-marissa