Steadfastness

A year ago, as I welcomed the new year I had no clue what was in store. I had no idea how high the highs would be nor how low the lows could get. I had set goals for myself like “call my friends more” and “look at Facebook less”. Those goals were fine. The purpose being to invest more deeply in the people God has in front of me and be more intentional with the time I’ve been given.

I also wrote down “get back to recording God’s blessings in a way that allows us to reflect together”. Looking back now I’m not clear on how I thought I’d be recording them… but I can guarantee you that I did not imagine the catalyst being my child getting cancer.

Little did I know that through cancer relationships would be woven tighter than I resolved, and my focus would be forced onto those in front of me in ways I didn’t request. And yet, God accomplished His purposes (and my good, though naïve, goals) through the swerving paths the year took.

I remember clearly on August 22^nd when we first heard the diagnosis and time stood still.  (I had always thought that was something that only happened in movies… but it’s real. All other noise became muted and blurred – I literally could not hear the rest of the words the Doctor was saying.) Once my head cleared a little, my reaction was “ok – we’re just going to put our heads down and push through this. I’ll put the end date on my calendar, and when we get to the end then we can move on with our lives.”

But God, in his graciousness didn’t want me to miss the beauty of the journey. Over and over during the past months He has lifted my head, caused me to pause, and shown me how He is intentionally using these trials to bring glory to His name, to encourage others, and to bring hope to people near and far.

James 1:2-4 “² Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

I’ve read those verses so many times over the years… and always my eyes have skipped from “produces steadfastness” to “perfect and complete”. As though it were an quick little step from suffering to maturity.

But tucked between those words it says that you must “let steadfastness have its full effect”.

Like waiting for dough to rise before baking it into bread.

Like waiting for a tree to mature before it produces fruit.

Like waiting for the baby to grow before you give it birth.

Steadfastness is patience, and endurance, and staying rooted to what Jesus says is true even on the days you aren’t sure you believe it.

It’s learning that how I feel on a given day doesn’t change who God is. And what I am experiencing doesn’t change His goodness and His love.

It’s choosing to trust that God has a plan and that His plan is good – even when my tears distort my circumstances and blur my perspective.

Steadfastness… it must be allowed to have its full effect.

If I could go back in time, what would I say to my year-ago-self?

“Trials will come, they come to everyone – so stay rooted to Jesus. Let Him produce steadfastness in you.

Then pause. Breathe. Endure.

Let steadfastness work itself through you. Let it change your thoughts. Let it conform your heart. Jesus is doing a perfect and complete work.

You won’t want to miss it!

You won’t want to miss the full effect!”

Now it’s January, 2019. I still want to call my friends more, waste less time, and consistently record God’s blessings.

But this year my prayer is this: “Lord may I be tuned in to your work of peace and redemption this year. Help me to be steadfast in my faith no matter what comes my way. Use the trials that will come to produce a steadfast spirit within me. And give me patience, endurance, and faithfulness so that steadfastness can have its full effect in me. In Jesus name, and to His glory. Amen.”

Love,

marissa