Cancer Moms,  Encouragement,  God's Character,  prayer,  Weary Hearts

The Journey is too Hard

January 30, 2019

The last couple weeks have been loud over here. Literally loud when we had a water leak that damaged our floors and had our house filled with fans and dehumidifiers and tubes that sucked the water out.

But also figuratively loud – the following week all three of our girls had various medical issues that required immediate doctor attention (they are all ok now, but those types of things are made all the more complicated and stressful when your five year old has cancer – and we’ve got “regular” doctor visits to keep up with).

It felt like for two weeks in a row all I was doing was putting out fires, and as soon as I thought we were free to rest, and breathe, another thing would happen, another injury would be sustained, another financial stress would be incurred.

Literally as I’m typing I hear the sound of a million beads being thrown in the other room…

We’ve all had weeks (or seasons) like these. Where we can hardly catch our breath between all the unexpected moments, the adrenaline rush of needing to immediately act and the subsequent exhaustion that comes when we’ve lived in a state of hyper awareness and concern.

Sometimes the journey is too hard.

As I stood in my kitchen one evening feeling overwhelmed, the story of Elijah on the mountain came to my mind. I had not read that story in a long time – so I couldn’t quite remember how it went… but opening to 1 Kings 19 refreshed my memory.

Have you read that one? God calls Elijah to go up a mountain – and while Elijah is camping out in a cave the Lord sends a mighty storm, then an earthquake, and finally a fire. Elijah retreats back into the cave with a cloak covering his face (terrified? Overwhelmed? Confused? Exhausted?) And there in the midst of all the noise and chaos Elijah hears the Lord whisper a personal, gracious message directly to him.

That was me! I saw myself all over those verses. The chaos, the overwhelmingness, the longing to hear the Lord’s voice. I begged God to whisper a message to me.

A couple days later I opened to 1 Kings 19 again. I wanted to know why Elijah was on the mountain in the first place. So I started at the beginning with verse 1…

Elijah was fleeing people who wanted him dead. He was worn out and discouraged. In fact he was so depressed that when he gets to a tree he sits down under it and “he asked that he might die, saying ‘It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life’…” (vs. 4)

(Sounds like he was having a way worse couple of weeks than I was… isn’t perspective a beautiful thing?! Ha!)

But, the part that comes next is my favorite part of the story. God doesn’t condemn Elijah for his emotions, or thoughts. God doesn’t belittle Elijah or dismiss him or give up on him, and God certainly doesn’t tell Elijah to suck it up and figure it out for himself. Instead, God sends an angel to minister to Elijah’s needs. His physical needs: the angel brings him food; his emotional needs: the angel touches him; and his spiritual needs: the angel says, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you (vs. 7 – emphasis mine)”.

Sometimes the journey is too hard!

Next, God sends Elijah on a 40 day journey up the mountain. And then comes the part where God bombards Elijah with a storm, an earthquake and a fire.

I don’t really know what Elijah thought in the moment, but I can imagine there was fear, confusion, exhaustion, and perhaps a good helping of doubt. It makes sense to me why Elijah went back inside the cave and hid. The angel had told Elijah that the journey was too much for him… and now Elijah fully knows it. And when he is completely out of his own strength – totally aware of his weaknesses – perhaps his ears were still ringing from the loud noises – that’s when God whispers.

And in that whisper we see God’s grace at work. God had a plan for Elijah. And the details he shares with Elijah are specific steps leading toward God’s ultimate plan of salvation and redemption for all of us.

Our journeys are too hard for us. It is ok – even good – to admit that. Because the journey is never too hard for God. He always has a plan. He always meets us with a whisper.

When we believe that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6), God whispers that we are His child (1 John 3:1); that we are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7); that we can hear his voice (John 10:27), and we too have a mission: to love God, to abide with him, and to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).

Are you where I am? Standing on the ledge of the mountain, half hiding in the cave, waiting for the noise to settle so you can hear the whisper of His voice?

Whatever journey you are on – it’s too great for you. And that’s ok! Because there is One who is sufficient – and He is faithful, and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24).  

Love, m

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25 Comments

  • Anonymous
    February 1, 2019 at 9:43 am Reply

    Love your blog! It is such a blessing for so many and helps to connect us to you, each other and God a little more with each post. Much appreciated 🙂

  • Tara Allman
    January 31, 2019 at 8:22 am Reply

    So glad your mom shared this! Wonderful words of wisdom. Continued prayers for your sweet daughter and family.

    ❤️, Tara Allman

  • Katy Calverley
    January 30, 2019 at 9:51 pm Reply

    Your posts are so encouraging! Thank you for sharing your gift with others. I love what the Lord does through your heart! It touches me.

  • Meredith English
    January 30, 2019 at 5:10 pm Reply

    Marissa, this is such a beautiful encouragement for those of us in the storm. I am there right now, and God reminded me of this story in a devotional this morning AND in your post. I haven’t heard that story in years! What a lovely whisper…it almost feels louder than a whisper when repeated twice in a day. Thank you for being His conduit for a clear message to me today. I pray for you, Rob, and for your girls. May God provide some stillness and rest to you all now! Sending love to you all.

  • Donni Miller
    January 30, 2019 at 3:38 pm Reply

    This is very profound and true- thank you for your thoughts, perspective and vulnerability. Many blessings on you & yours

  • Laura Kay Peyty
    January 30, 2019 at 2:56 pm Reply

    Marissa, I love reading your posts! Your mom shared with me today how to sign up to receive each new post. And yes, God is sufficient and will meet each of our needs- always! I continue to pray for Alice, and you and the whole family. Love, Laura Kay

  • Jeannie
    January 30, 2019 at 9:53 am Reply

    Marissa, I thank God for you and your blog that is so encouraging. I love hearing how your struggles, as are mine, are all related and intertwined with Scripture. God in His wisdom guided the authors of each book with us in mind so that we too can relate and learn of His calling and care in our lives. Praying for Alice and your family. Love you❤️

  • Cindy Propp
    January 30, 2019 at 7:54 am Reply

    Love this post. I needed it this week and through February for sure. Love you. You and your family are in my prayers. See you Thursday.

  • Sean Kark
    January 30, 2019 at 7:13 am Reply

    Hey Marissa,

    As always, well written and poignant. Don’t know if I ever told you, but I too was diagnosed with cancer at age 7 or 8. It’s kinda odd, or perhaps not, but that experience impacted the direction I went forward in my life. I look back at that time, and it is not a particularly bad time. Sure chemo and radiation were not the favorite activities of a 7-9 year old, but I was only hospitalized 1x for fevers while on chemo, and all things considered, think I came out pretty well for a cancer that affects only about 300 kids nationally/year. What “sucks” worst about childhood cancers are that they are mostly genetic and aren’t really associated with behaviors that can explain several, but not all, adult cancers. This can lead to some well deserved soul searching, and requires a good deal of faith, which it appears you have nailed down 🙂 The hidden secret is that most kids handle their treatments exceedingly well, and go on to live “normal lives” after treatment and follow-up. There have been amazing advancements in treatment over the last 20 years, especially with leukemia (AML, ALL), so I hope your daughter’s treatments are going as well as expected. Kids are adaptable and heal much quicker than adults after a particularly exhausting treatment… If you ever have questions, I’m more than happy to answer as best I can. Oh, yeah, and if I haven’t mentioned to you I’m almost at the end of my Family Medicine residency. Guess the chemo didn’t fry my brain too much 🙂

    Sean

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