A Holy Exchange: How to trade anxiety for peace

"Do not be anxious about anything..." -Philippeans 4:6a

For a long time I read that verse as a command. Do NOT be anxious. Don’t do it. Do not let anxiety into your heart or your mind.

Reading it as a command didn’t prevent me from feeling anxious.

Reading it as a command only led me to feel guilty for being anxious.

“I guess my faith is too weak. I must not really trust God. I need to improve, get better, work harder at not being anxious.”

(Spoiler alert… telling yourself to not be anxious doesn’t work!)

But over the years I’ve moved away from reading that verse as a command – and moved into reading it as an invitation.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” -Philippeans 4:6

Come to the feet of Jesus. Bring him your anxiety. Bring it to him in the form of a prayer. Bring it as a prayer swaddled up in thanksgiving and praise.

And God will make you a holy exchange.

You present your cloak of anxiety, and He will dress you in a new cloak. A cloak of peace.

This peace will not make sense. It is beyond understanding.

It will be as soft and warm as your favorite blanket. And it will be as tough and firm as the strongest armor.

It will guard you. Protecting your heart and your mind.

And the protection comes not from anything you can do. It will be Jesus himself covering all your weaknesses.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philippeans 4:6-7

Changing the way I see these verses has been immensely important over the last few years. Because when your child is diagnosed with cancer – anxiety is par for the course. And you can either let it swallow you up, or you can take it to God and ask for a Holy Exchange.

So how do we do this? How do we make this exchange on a practical level – especially when we are in the middle of an anxiety episode?

Philippeans 4 tells us that we make this exchange through prayer. But praying while anxious can feel overwhelming. So here are 3 simple, practical steps to take as you pray your anxieties to the Lord in exchange for His perfect peace:

1. Name the Feelings
2. Find a Physical Comfort
3. Repeat a Biblical Truth

1. Name the Feelings:

Palms sweating? Feeling foggy headed? Scarfing down cookies for breakfast? Maybe you’ve been snappy with your spouse, or had trouble sleeping. Perhaps you have a burst of energy or can barely get off the sofa. (Or maybe you start mopping your floors with such vigor that you break your mop… not that I would know anything about such things. 😉

Sometimes when we are anxious, our bodies seem to take on a life of their own. We might feel things physically, before we are mentally aware of what is triggering the anxiety.

When our bodies feel out of control, it can help to pause, think, and name what is going on.

Pause: Literally stop where you are. Sit down if you are able. Take a moment to pay attention to your body. How is it acting different than normal? Then, take 10 deep breathes. If you have another minute to spare, focus on relaxing your body starting from your toes and working your way up to your neck, and even your facial muscles.

Think: Now ask God to help you figure out why your body is acting this way. What is going on in your life that could be causing your anxiety? Is an important anniversary coming up (death of a loved one, date your child was diagnosed…). Or perhaps scan day is approaching, or you are dreading an appointment? The Lord will show you the underlying trigger.

Name: Once you’ve figured out the trigger – name the feelings back to God. Think of anxiety as an umbrella. Under the anxiety are other feelings/emotions like Anger, Fear, Sadness, Worry, or Shame. Naming the specific emotion will help bring the overarching anxiety out of the darkness and into the light.

As an unsavory metaphor: Here in Texas we have lots of cockroaches. They like dark places. When you turn on a light they will run for cover – but the light also lets you see them clearly so you can squash them! Treat your anxious feelings like cockroaches – turn on the light (name the feelings!) so the Lord can squash them for you! 😉

2. Find a Physical Comfort:

Once you’ve named the feelings back to God in prayer, choose one physical comfort that you can access easily.

I met a fellow cancer mom recently who has a special blanket that a friend made for her. She can wrap herself in this blanket when she is feeling anxious. That is an easily accessible physical comfort.

You might make a special cup of tea, or enjoy a dessert, or go for a run. Maybe there is a song you can listen to, or a candle you can light.

Whatever it is – focus on the physicality of it. Thank God for the feel, the taste, the smell, the sound, or the sight of the thing. Paying attention to your five senses will help anchor your body, and then your mind and then your heart.

Anchoring yourself in the present is an important part of handing over your anxiety. Anxiety makes us feel like we are out of control. Often anxiety stems from our minds racing ahead of what is real in the moment and beginning to invent a future that is scary. If we can anchor ourselves physically in what is real, it will help us remember what is real emotionally and spiritually as well.

3. Repeat a Biblical Truth

And that leads us into: repeat a Biblical truth.

You’ve named your feelings back to God. You’ve anchored your body in the present. Now the exchange happens.

God’s Word is the true Light. (“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” -Psalm 119:105). It is the tool He uses to squash our anxieties.

It is also the armor He covers us with so that we can have peace (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Have ONE key Bible verse ready to repeat to yourself. Write it down and hang it somewhere visible at your house. Put it on a small piece of paper and slip it in your wallet for when you are out and about. Put it in your phone as a note. (Hint: pay attention to where you are when your anxiety hits you most frequently – for me it’s often in my car while I’m driving – and make sure you keep a copy of your chosen verse in that place!)

The point is to take the things you are feeling – and hand them over to the Lord – and then fill your mind with His Word, His Truth, His Peace.

You get to say, “Yes, I am feeling this way, and these feelings are real, but I don’t have to handle these on my own. God – I’m handing them to you – here is my fear, my sadness, my anger, etc. Walk with me through this God. Take these feelings, and make me a Holy Exchange. Take these feelings, and give me your peace.”

Summary:

Name the Feeling back to God: Pause, Think, and Name the emotions you are experiencing.

Choose a Physical Comfort: Choose one accessible, physical thing you can do/experience to give you comfort. Thank God for the way your five senses anchor you in reality.

Repeat a Biblical Truth: Have one Bible verse at the ready for you to repeat to yourself. God’s Word is the true Light that drives out the dark places in our minds and hearts. And it is the armor of Peace that covers us.

These three steps can be done quickly, repeatedly, and easily as you navigate an anxiety episode. They give you a practical way of praying through your anxiety – and allowing God to exchange your anxiety for His peace.

Below is my prayer for you as well as some suggested Bible verses if you aren’t sure where to start with that step.

Remember today that, even during your most anxious days, you are deeply loved!

Prayer for You:

Father God, you are gentle and kind. You are compassionate with us when we feel afraid. And you provide us with the exact amount of mercy we need each day to walk through our anxiety. Today Jesus, help us to bring our feelings into the light of your love. Give us the words to name our emotions. Give us tangible comforts in this world you made. And, Holy Spirit, remind us of what is true through your Holy Word. Thank you that you promise to never leave us, and to always give us what we need. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Comforting Bible Verses:

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” -Zephaniah 3:17

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.” -Deuteronomy 33:12

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” -Lamentations 3:22-23

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” -Psalm 46:1

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” -Psalm 23:4

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13