PTO and Friendship

I’m going to confess something to you all.

When I starting having kids there were two things that most terrified me.

1. Potty Training
2. The PTO (or PTA, or whatever other acronym your school uses)

I know. I know. There are way scarier things out in the world – and way bigger things that parents face. But those two things have always felt so incredibly overwhelming to me.

Well, as of a month ago, I’ve more or less successfully gotten my girls to use the bathroom in socially appropriate ways (some took longer than others, and one in particular took a very long, meandering, equally hilarious and infuriating route… ) – so I figured this was the year to face my second fear!

I have a couple friends who have given me pep talks and pro tips regarding the PTO. But mostly they’ve encouraged me that I won’t die if I go to one meeting.

Well… a couple weeks ago there was a meeting, and it was across the street from my house, and I was home during it, and I was out of excuses.

So I gathered up my toddler and my very pregnant self and walked/waddled across the street.

Things started off fine. I saw some familiar faces, even some friends! This could possibly be fun (I thought).

The toddler was running around but not being overly distracting. Several ladies made announcements and gave updates about various things. Then, the guest speaker started. And the toddler picked up speed, and volume.

I pulled her (the toddler, not the speaker) aside a couple of times to ask her to stop screaming or we’d have to leave.

She looked at me with her big eyes, impishly grinned and then took off screaming again. In order to maintain some appearance of having boundaries and expectations of my children, I scooped her up and told her we were now going home.

Walking down the first hallway was tolerable. She asked me repeatedly why we had to leave. And I calmly explained over and over…

Then we turned the corner and started down the main hallway of the school.

And girl lost it.

I couldn’t hold her anymore because of her arching-her-back-kicking-routine so I put her down and offered to hold her hand. She decided to lay on the floor and scream instead.

After a few minutes of trying to coerce her with my stern face and adamant words, I decided to do the whole “walk away trick”. The goal was for her to not like being abandoned and to pick herself up and follow me.

The actual result was her taking a few steps toward me, followed by a sit down style strike complete with floor kicking, tears, and a screaming rendition of “I don’t want to go home” on repeat.

I honestly don’t know how long this whole ordeal lasted. But I can tell you…

• How long it felt…
• How many teachers and administrators came out to “check on us”…
• That she was offered multiple bribes from school staff members.
• That she received multiple “looks” from her mother (you know the one).

I can tell you that when she decides to grip door knobs she is impressively strong.

I can tell you she eventually vacated the campus pinned under my arm, kicking and screaming all the way back across the street where I couldn’t find my house key and begged for a hole to please appear and swallow me.

Oh, and I can tell you that I was right to be afraid of PTO meetings. 😉

As I’ve told friends about this experience I’ve gotten various responses.

I’ve had friends look at me with sympathetic but not really understanding faces – but who I know went on to quietly pray for me and my heart.

I’ve had friends respond with “Oh I’m so sorry! I would have been mortified!” Giving the “me too” feedback that helps us feel sane and not alone.

And one friend wrote me this in response to my story:  

“GLORIOUS!!!

I don’t see enough public tantrums around here, so way to go!!!!

In reality, everyone loves a good scene and they were probably just happy it wasn’t their own kids for once! Ha!

(I usually laugh to myself when his happens, then scan the area and quickly judge anyone who appears to be judging me).

#atleastyourkidhasapersonality”

She gave me the much needed permission to laugh at myself and the ridiculousness of the episode. And her words, though couched in humor, probed a little deeper. She challenged me to consider why I was so mortified in the first place.

We need all three of those types of friends. We need the ones who will quietly pray for us, even if they don’t personally understand what we are walking through. They have confidence that Jesus does understand and they know that prayer can do wonderful things for their friend’s heart.

We need the friends who will say “me too” and will break us free of the fear of feeling alone in our circumstances. It’s so easy to think you’re the only one who has experienced something, or felt something. When we are reminded that someone else “gets it” – our fear, our insecurities, and our loneliness all begin to fade.

And we need the friends who will dig a little deeper. The one who will dare to say the hard word of truth. The one who will laugh at us in a way that brings fresh perspective and invites us to loosen our grip on trying to control how others perceive us.

My encouragement to you this week is to thank a friend for the sweet role she plays in your life. And to thank Jesus for the gift of friendship.

Because friendship truly is a gift!

Maybe the PTO is a gift too… but I’m not quite there yet. 😉

Love,

Marissa