Sabbatical Series: How The Good Shepherd Restored My Soul

Once again I found myself losing my temper with my family. It was such a small thing. But there was no margin left to absorb disappointments and frustrations.

That night Rob quietly pulled me aside and asked me to please reassess what was on my plate and to consider letting go of some things.

It was the middle of the pandemic. And like all of you, I was juggling things that I had not anticipated, on top of all the hard life things I had been carrying prior to the world shutting down.

My emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health were slowly decreasing… and I needed rest. True rest. Not just a nap and a Netflix binge.

In my stubbornness, my desire for control, and a distorted negative view of “quitting” – I figured if I just got more organized, pulled in a little more help from family, lowered my expectations (of others and myself), then I could push through and eventually all of this hard stuff would smooth out.

But as the weeks and months passed, other people started to echo Rob’s concerns.

They could see what I could not: that going from our daughter’s cancer diagnosis… to her remission… to a surprise pregnancy… to a baby born with medical concerns… to a pandemic… and post partum struggles… and isolation… with no break between each of these events… had left me dry and exhausted.

One day at the park I confessed to a dear friend that I was afraid of being seen as a quitter. She said, “you’re not quitting – you’re pausing.”

God used her gracious phrasing as the gentle push I needed to make some big changes.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
    He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name’s sake.

Psalm 23:1-3

After several years of twists and turns and hard things…

My good shepherd was going to make me lie down in green pastures.

He wanted to lead me beside still waters.

His desire was to restore my soul.

He longed to usher me down new paths of righteousness so that his name would be glorified.

And so, God sent me on a sabbatical.

“you’re not quitting – you’re pausing”

-tara schmidt

The first thing I had to do was create space to rest. Green pastures don’t come about without someone tending to the weeds and removing scraggly brush.

Through lots of tears, I made hard phone calls to step out of ministry roles I loved, and to make new arrangements for our girls’ schooling.

In addition, I planned to make simpler meals and chose to postpone any home-improvement projects that were not critical. I thought through all the big and small commitments on my plate and cut back wherever I possibly could. And I practiced saying “no”.

But simply removing things from my schedule wouldn’t have been enough to create rest in my soul.

I don’t know about you, but my flesh is hungry for distractions. And if I had simply cut things out of my schedule, I would have quickly refilled it again in ways that were not intentional or helpful.

If I wanted space to rest in the deepest sense, then I needed to cushion my time with gospel centered pillows.  

So the second thing I did was work with my counselor to create some structure and focus for my sabbatical.

She and I thought through a few key words that I wanted to process with the Lord. And we worked together to find applicable Bible passages for each of those words. She then encouraged me to ask a mentor to walk through those passages with me and create time to mull them over together.

Every couple of weeks a dear mentor/friend met with me. I’d make us tea. And we’d talk while the two big girls were at school, the baby was napping, and the toddler was summersaulting on furniture.

On our own time, she and I read, prayed, and journaled through the various Scriptures. We asked the Lord what he was up to in those passages, and in our lives.

Then, when we got together, we shared what was on our hearts. What we had written about.  Where our prayers had led us.

We shared our dreams for what the Lord may do in our futures. And we praised him for the things he had already done in our pasts.

We wrestled with things like our grief, and our need for God to heal. We asked questions about our identity and what it looks like to wait for the Lord.

Because my days were slower and less crowded, I saw things start to change.

“I needed to cushion my time with gospel centered pillows”

I had more time to dwell on God’s promises to me and really think about what it means that he made promises to me in the first place.

I had more margin in my heart for when my girls’ big feelings took over and we all needed to be reminded of what is true and good and beautiful.

My anger and impatience and deep sadness started to move to the outskirts. And in their place came deeper peace and joy.

I had given the Holy Spirit room to move and work. I was allowing the Living Water to quietly restore my soul.

My sabbatical lasted a couple months. There is no secret timetable for it. That’s simply how long God gave me – and I am thankful for each one of those days.

I didn’t have a strict end date for my sabbatical. It was a slow process of assessing each thing I had laid down and asking the Lord if I was supposed to pick it back up.

Eventually, it was clear what direction I was supposed to head next. And I can’t wait to share with you the project God put before me!

I’ll share that story with you in a couple weeks. But before then, I want to help you take your own sabbatical. Wherever you are in life… all of us can benefit from an intentional season of slowing down and making extended space to rest in Jesus.

• If you are a caregiver – you may need a sabbatical to remind you of your identity apart from caregiving.
• If you are struggling to re-emerge from the pandemic quarantine – you may need a sabbatical to assess your priorities moving forward.
• If you are a weary mom – you may need a sabbatical to reflect on the promises God has made to you.

I was so blessed through my sabbatical experience, that I want to help you take a sabbatical too!

1. Next week I will lay out a template you can use to create your own sabbatical.
2. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook – I will also be giving you an opportunity to ask me your sabbatical questions.
3. And I have created a Sabbatical Journal Worksheet for you! My subscribers will receive it for free in the July newsletter! If you want to receive that worksheet make sure to subscribe today!

Until next week – may your weary heart be encouraged by the knowledge that God made you to rest in him!