There is Grace for Those Painful Anniversaries

Do you have a date on your calendar that you dread every year? The anniversary of something hard or sad that creates a visceral response in you?

For our family the entire month of August is hard.

Our daughter started showing symptoms, was diagnosed, had surgery, and began her cancer treatments all in the month of August three years ago. There are few days in that month that don’t have something painful associated with it.

These anniversaries are so challenging. We know they are coming. Sometimes we think if we ignore it, things will be better. Other times we make plans in advance to recognize the pain of that day – and hope that a pro-active approach will make the day easier.

But regardless of how we “plan” to handle those days – our bodies can betray us and act out even when our thoughts appear to be under control.

Appetite changes, mood swings, the need for more sleep or unusual bursts of energy. Skin changes, feeling desperate for more personal space, or just an underlying constant state of irritability or anxiousness… There are so many different ways our bodies will try to tell us things!

When I talk to my counselor about my frustrations with my body she has to remind me that our bodies have a strange way of holding on to memories even when our minds seem to have forgotten them.

Remembering that aspect of how God wired us – helps me show grace toward myself.

After all – God always acts in kindness toward his children. So there must be a kind reason that he has enabled our bodies to remember things that our minds have tried to push away.

“I led them with cords of kindness,
    with the bands of love,
and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,
    and I bent down to them and fed them.

Hosea 11:4

In the book of Hosea God recounts how he was continually kind to his people even when they were completely unaware and ungrateful for his goodness toward them. If God delights in showing kindness when we act like his enemies – how much more does he love to show kindness when we are walking as his children?

Perhaps part of God’s kindness to us is allowing our bodies to remember hard things so that we get to hand those burdens over to the Lord over and over and over.

We are not meant to carry heavy loads. We are meant to give those loads to Jesus who carried them to the cross.

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
    and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.”

Psalm 55:22

Over the next several weeks we are going to be talking more about painful memories and hard anniversaries.

• How do we help our kids when their little bodies are remembering hard dates?
• Can these hard anniversaries be redeemed?
• What are some ways we can participate in God’s redemptive work?

But for this week my prayer is that we would all be reminded of God’s grace toward us. Even anxiety and memories can be gracious nudges from the Lord to lean more heavily on him and let him show his kindness toward us.

So today – if you are anticipating a hard anniversary – I pray that you will see God’s grace toward you and that you will be able to extend that grace to yourself.