Three Lies We Believe About Gratitude, and Cultivating Thankful Hearts

“You just need to be thankful for what you have, and stop striving, then God is going to give you what you want!”

That is advice too many of my friends have been given. And I’m so sorry if you’ve been a recipient as well.

This type of advice often comes from a good place, a sincere desire to be helpful, and from real Biblical concepts. Scripture does tell us to give thanks in all circumstances, and to rejoice even in our sufferings. But when thanksgiving becomes the remedy to our problems – we’ve turned a description of our hearts, into a false prescription for our problems.

If your mom’s childhood neighbor’s hairdresser’s niece hasn’t given you advice along these lines – then I bet you’ve unconsciously given this advice to yourself. We are all susceptible to twisting gratitude into a false gospel. Without realizing it we can find ourselves in a place where we think we are in charge and that we can somehow manipulate God by the state of our heart.

Or maybe it’s just me??

Three lies we’ve heard (and possibly believed):

1. We think if we are thankful enough, then our lives will go the way we want;
2. We believe that God’s heart toward us is directly linked to how grateful we are;
3. We assume that thankfulness is something we have to cultivate in our hearts by our own power.

LIE #1: Thankfulness leads to a Good Life

No matter what the suffering or problem is in our lives – we can consciously or unconsciously think that if we:

• Are just thankful enough, or
• Practice gratitude more faithfully, or
• Do the cute thanksgiving craft with our kids, or
• Pray enough thanksgiving prayers…

…that some how we will create a good record for ourselves and will magically change our circumstances.

The truth is that the more thankful we are, the more we realize how undeserving we are of God’s lavish gifts toward us.

For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.

Romans 3:20

The more we realize how underserving we are of a “good life”, the more desperate we are for God’s grace toward us.

The righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

Romans 3:22-24

The more desperate we are of God’s grace, the more thankful we are for all that he has done for us and given to us – even (and maybe especially) when life isn’t going the way we planned.

It’s a wonderful, beautiful, mysterious circle of gratitude – that stems not from our thankful hearts, but from God’s amazing grace toward us.

Lie #2: God’s Love Toward Us is Linked to Our Level of Gratitude

I don’t care if you fill a notebook every night with 100 things you’re thankful for that day – God won’t love you more. And if you are struggling today to think of five things to thank God for – he does not love you less.

God knows our hearts are broken. He knows that our sin has blinded us to the many ways he lavishes his love on us. That isn’t a surprise to him. And our efforts to build our own righteous record through abundant gratitude doesn’t trick him either.

God’s solution to our sinful hearts isn’t more gratitude – it’s Jesus. God sent his son to die on the cross, and he put our sin, shame, and ungrateful hearts to death there. When Jesus rose from the grave, God revealed his power and authority over all that separates us from him – including our thankless hearts.

So, God’s love toward you is not related to how well you practice giving thanks this November. His love for you is completely dependent on what Jesus has done for you and the righteousness he has extended to you. Period.

“…and be found in him [Jesus], not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith”

Philippians 3:9

Lie #3: I Must Cultivate A Grateful Heart Within Myself

If gratitude is not the solution to our problems, and it is not how we earn favor with God… then what is it and why even try to do it?

Thankfulness can be a few things:

1. A description of where our heart is in a given moment
2. A discipline that helps us see our life from God’s perspective
3. A gift from God, that fights against things like bitterness and sorrow

Whether or not I’m feeling thankful in a given season can be a helpful data point to use to assess where my relationship is with God, or how I’m dealing with hardships in my life. This information is not meant to bring shame or guilt, but rather to be a tool to see what else is going on in my heart and mind. And ultimately to draw me back (or closer to) the Lord – not push me farther away.

Practicing thankfulness is also a discipline. It doesn’t come naturally to everyone in every season – but when we practice it, our perspective on life’s hardships can change.

Gratitude changes our suffering from something that is out of our control, to something that is ordained by God for our ultimate good. Thanksgiving doesn’t make the suffering go away like magic, but it can help us view it with a different perspective.

Lastly, gratitude is both something we practice and a gift from God to us. Like I already said, God knows our hearts are broken, and even if we filled a notebook with 100 things we are thankful for every night, we would only be scratching the surface of all that God has done for us and given to us.

The Lord, in his kindness, cultivates gratitude in our suffering hearts. The Holy Spirit, as he conforms us more and more into the image of Christ, will change our perspective on what is in front of us, and open our eyes to things that we couldn’t see before. We don’t have to rely on our own efforts alone to grow in gratitude. God wants to help us see things the way he sees things, therefore he will grow us in this area as we rest more fully on the righteousness of Christ.

Go forth then, this November and give all the thanks! Execute the Pinterest craft with excellence! Fill your notebook with a thousand grateful moments! Share your gratitude with others! And rest. Rest in knowing that God loves you regardless of how thankful you are. And rest in knowing that God will cultivate a thankful heart in you as he draws you more to himself.