New Blog Series: Suffering and Friendship (Based on Paul’s Letter to the Philippians)

Several years ago a friend gifted me a beautiful scarf as a thank you for serving her during an extremely challenging season. She didn’t need to give me anything. I certainly hadn’t been expecting anything. But it has served as a reminder to me over the years that friendship and service are not meant to be one directional – even when we are walking through deep valleys.

One gift of suffering is that it can give us temporary tunnel vision. All the extras fade away. We recognize some of the petty things that used to bring us stress. We let go of certain grievances. We focus on fewer things. And those fewer things are of most importance to us.

That tunnel vision is a gift in that it changes our perspective and helps us see “what truly matters” in a more personal sense. Yet, if we remain with those blinders on for too long, we can get lost in our own suffering and lose a different kind of perspective: the fact that suffering is not meant to be completely private.

We are small pieces in a much bigger story that God is writing. Our suffering, what we learn from it and how we grow through it: bring glory to God, strengthen the faith of others, and can build our confidence in God’s goodness toward us. But if we walk through suffering completely on our own, never letting others in, and never finding ways to serve… we will miss out on some of the most beautiful ways God wants to redeem our heartache.

This is a long passage, but has so much encouragement for us about suffering:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸ We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. ¹¹ For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ¹² So death is at work in us, but life in you.

¹³ Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, ¹⁴ knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. ¹⁵ For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

¹⁶ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self^[d] is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸ as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:7-18

And so, I strongly believe, suffering is not meant to be done alone. We are intended to let people in to our trials. Both so they can serve us, AND so we can serve them even while we struggle.  

When I re-read Philippians recently, the first thing that stood out was that Paul was writing from prison. If ever there was a time to take a break from serving others, he had every possible excuse. If I were to write a letter from prison, I don’t think I’d be particularly “other focused”. I’d probably make a lot of requests, do a lot of complaining, and want to make sure my friends understood just how miserable I was.

But Paul wrote with a different purpose. He understood that his suffering wasn’t just about him. God had a greater purpose for his hardships. And so, even as he longed to “depart and be with Christ” (1:23), Paul continued to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead, and do whatever he could to serve his friends.

In this blog series we will look at:

1. Paul’s perspective of suffering,
2. How he continued to serve his friends during his own hardships, and
3. Think about how God might want to reshape our perspectives of our own difficult circumstances.

My prayer is that your weary heart will be encouraged as the Lord reminds you of his faithfulness in your sufferings. Make sure you’ve subscribed so that you don’t miss any of the posts in this series.

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Jesus loves you more than you know.