There is A Plan

Y’all… I am painfully aware that we are not the only ones going through hard stuff right now. Each of you has a story, and a struggle. One of my Uncles passed away last night after a short but brutal struggle with ALS. I have Cousins and Aunts and close family mourning deeply right now. So it feels weird for me to share what we are going through… because yes it’s hard, but it’s not special. I could fill pages with the worries, stresses, and fears of our friends and families right now. 

So, when I share… please know that I know that you have hard things too. We don’t have a monopoly on pain and sadness. But I do hope you can be encouraged when you get these updates. And I pray that you will get to see answers to prayers. Not just ours… but the prayers that you have too. 

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Tomorrow is Alice’s first day of chemotherapy and we have lots of emotions about it. There is fear, sadness, even confusion (she’s currently running around the house and doesn’t look sick… but we are about to give her a bunch of medicine that will make her feel terrible… that seems so backwards to all of us and is especially difficult for Claire and Alice to understand). 

Along with the emotions comes a whole new list of priorities for the year. There is a page in my journal from the morning we started on this adventure. I had made a list of all my commitments for this coming year on one side of the page, and a list of all the things I wanted to commit to but needed to pray through before giving an answer on the other side of the page. 

I have since drawn a huge X through both lists… and have started over. Narrowing things down to a short but powerful list of places God has truly called me to this year. I had wanted to do all the things… God wants me to do just a handful of things, but in the deepest and most invested way possible. I am nervous… a bit uncertain… but also hopeful and excited to see what He has planned.

And I have no doubt that God has a plan – and has had a plan since before we even knew we needed a plan! 😉 

When our pediatrician first gave us the news of the tumor, his next sentence was “there is a plan”. He meant that he had already contacted doctors and surgeons and the hospital emergency room for us. That he had already thought through things and set a plan in motion before he even gave us the diagnosis. 

That has been a huge comfort for us. 

But an even bigger comfort is knowing that “there is a plan” that God himself has set in motion… and had set in motion before Alice was even born. 

Many of you know that when I was pregnant with Alice we were given a scary diagnosis and told we’d be lucky if she even survived the pregnancy. There was nothing the doctors could do… but our friends and family prayed their hearts out for her healing. One day her symptoms were gone… and the doctors had no explanation. 

So now here we are… she’s 4-1/2, and once again we are trusting that “there is a plan” – a plan that involves smart, caring doctors, nurses and staff, surgery, powerful medicine, and our friends and family praying their hearts out once again for our precious girl.  

For those of you asking specifically how to pray in the next couple of days, here are a few very specific things:
1. Pray that Alice would not have a panic attack at her appointment tomorrow
2. Pray that as we transition to new insurance – there are no hick-ups and that the coverage is what we need it to be.
3. Pray that our conversations with the Dr tomorrow will be clear, and that many of our logistical questions can be answered
4. Pray for wisdom for us as we decide what day/time of the week Alice will get her treatments from here on out (there are pros/cons to each option)
5. Pray for minimal side effects for her first round – that we can ease our way into this as much as possible

Yes we are nervous… and sad… but we are also hopeful. 2 Cor 4:8 sums up how I feel very well “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair”. 

“There is a plan”! And we are resting in that today.
-Marissa