Lament Series: Where Is Your Heart Prone to Turn?
I turned to obsessive cleaning. I even broke a mop because I had channeled all my stress, anger, sadness, and fear into the act of scrubbing my floors. I had pushed the mop until the plastic handle snapped off the mop head. When I told my therapist she said, “it’s totally fine to turn to other things, but remember to first turn to God. Tell him how you feel, invite him in, and then clean your floors or eat the ice cream or watch the show. But turn to God first.”
Biblical lament has four components. 1. Turning toward God; 2. Laying out our complaints or questions; 3. Making a request of God; and 4. Anchoring our hearts on what we know is true about God’s character.
For this series I’ll refer to these as Turning, Complaining, Requesting, and Anchoring.
In general, lament moves through the four components in order, but by definition (and personal experience) lament is not intended to be that neat and tidy. Psalm 22 is a wonderful example of a meandering lament. The Psalmist works through the components in order, but then immediately cycles back to complaining and works his way back to anchoring, several times over in the Psalm (I encourage you to read it for yourself this week).
It might seem obvious that to cry out to God in lament, we have to begin by turning to him. Yet, this can be a difficult step to take when we are suffering. It can be much easier to turn to a tangible object, activity, or person in search of the comfort we need.
It can also be difficult to know how to turn to God. Simply flinging our anger at him with no desire for relationship is not turning, it’s just spewing. Turning to God implies not just calling out his name, but humbling our hearts toward him. Crying out to him with the expectation that he cares about us, and that he is going to do something about our pain.
When you read through the Psalms, you’ll notice that underneath all the questions, complaining, and requests, are broken and contrite hearts that have approached the throne of grace with a humility and a desperation. Lament is not our final scream before slamming the door on God. It’s the desperate banging in the middle of the night, with the hope and expectation that God will fling wide the door and draw us inside.
Here are three examples of Turning from the Psalms. Do you know which one of these Jesus himself quoted on the cross (Mark 15:34)?
“Why, O Lord…” (Psalm 10:1)
“My God, my God…” (Psalm 22:1)
“I cry aloud to God…” (Psalm 77:1)
As you think about the concept of Turning this week, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What do I typically turn to when I am in a dark place emotionally?
- How is that thing/person a gift to me in those hard moments?
- If I Turned to God, what would that look like on a practical level? Are there actions and/or words that would be helpful to do/say in the process of Turning?
- How can I remind myself to Turn to God when things are hard, and begin the process of lament?
*If you want to explore Turning more deeply, consider reading through Psalm 22 this week, and look for all the times the writer Turns to God.*